The 2010 Burgerdelphia Awards

In the long-standing media tradition of recycling content during the holidays rather than actually working, we are proud to present the 2010 Burgerdelphia Awards.


Best Burger: The Whiskey King at Village Whiskey

It's hard to sum up the Whiskey King better than Kyle's writeup. The king is named as such because it has enough calories to power a rocket to the moon. The bacon and fois gras-topped monstrosity gushes grease over your plate and stirs your soul while doing it. Add a side of Village Whiskey's duck-fat cooked fries and you'll be lucky to live through the meal. But really, can you think of a time you'd be happier to kick it? Go in your sleep? Please. Die during sex? Close but no cigar. Wipe your face with your grease soaked napkin, take the last sip of your Manhattan, walk out the door and drop dead. You will have achieved the perfect life and perfect death.

Best Burger Joint: Sketch Burger

Of the few dedicated burger joints in the city there is a single standout, and not just because it resides in the purgatory we call Fishtown. Sketch Burger is classic in dedication and atmosphere. It's totally no frills with no booze and bare tabletops, but the burgers are outstanding and the variety makes it worth the trip.

Most Underrated Burger: 500 Degrees

Ask a few random people with no taste to name their favorite place to get a burger and you're likely going to hear Bobby's Burger Palace mentioned a few times. But those in the know, and there are significantly fewer of them, will tell you to work your way across town to 500 Degrees. Owned by the same couple that owns Rouge (the famed longtime best burger in Philadelphia title holder), 500 Degrees is sparse, industrial and small, the antithesis to Bobby's. Using almost identical ingredients to those used down the street at Rouge, 500 Degrees offers a smack-you-in-the-face burger, amazing by measures of taste, quality and value with a side of truffle fries.

Most Overrated Burger: Bobby's Burger Palace

As mentioned above, Bobby's Burger Palace draws a good deal of attention these days from the burger-eating public. This solidifies my theory that human beings really are more distracted by bright colors than goldfish and are about as intelligent. The neon lights and decor consisting of multicolored glossy plastic and photos of better food than is served makes a meal at Bobby's a little like a bad trip. But what we still can't get over is the idea that you can deck out your burger by topping it with potato chips. That's right: to spice up your mediocre burger and its crushed, bland Cosco bun, you can "crunchify" it by dumping a handful of totally bland potato chips on top. Somehow this has become a big thing in University City, leading us believe that if you want to convince people your food is good, you just need to tell them that it is good and swing a celebrity dick at them while they eat it.

Most Disappointing Burger: Le Bar Lyonnais at Le Bec-Fin

We were expecting to encounter a few duds on our long pilgrimage but we've found them in places we never could have guessed. Take for example our biggest disappointment of the year, the burger at Le Bar Lyonnais at Le Bec-Fin. We couldn't have been more hyped to eat a burger at Philadelphia's only would-famous restaurant. We talked for days in excitement about how fantastic it must be. Then we ate it, and our salty tears were the most flavorful part of the meal. Between poorly cooked meat and fries stolen from a French McD's, Le Bec-Fin's burger was a total letdown. The only thing that made the visit worth our time were the cocktails and the chance to flex our mockery muscles.

Burgerdelphia Ben Fucking Frankling Award Winner: Jose Garces

We've talked about Iron Man plenty. As the new big chef in town he's earned accolades from eaters everywhere in the city and beyond, but nowhere has his impact been felt more than in the world of Burgerdelphia where two of his establishments earned top marks, including the top slot. The man loves meat and we love him. We visited JG Domestic, Garces' newest venture in the Cira Center, on opening night, hoping he'd be hobnobbing with people. He was there all right, but didn't have time to talk. He was preparing the food, and damn good food at that. That's dedication. Here's to you Iron Man, you are Burgerdelphia's BFF for 2010.

2010 in Numbers

(Numbers are per person.)

• Burgers eaten: 36

• Ounces of beef: 248.5

• Approximate number of calories (from beef): 18,637.5

• Slices of bacon: 21

• Total cost of burgers: $442.74